I realize that we are often faced with a lack of understanding in a rather insensitive environment
From now on, we’ll not talk about our treatments any more. To those who ask me how it’s going, I tell them that we are letting nature take its course. It’s difficult for me because I need to talk about what happens to me, to articulate the difficulties I come across. Words release me and also relieve me.
But I realize that we often face a lack of understanding from a rather insensitive environment. I get the feeling that only people who have had real trouble having their children understand our anxiety. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing to announce that we needed help to conceive a baby, however nor have I told anyone and everyone. If the person settled for “no, still no child,” I wouldn’t react but, generally, people are gossips and a couple without children is a bit odd!
To show that stereotypes die hard, the person I’m talking to usually thinks it’s just me … And I’m convinced that for years, some women have undergone treatments because our society could not admit that the man might also be responsible. The day I knew what we were going to have to face, I stopped dodging questions even though I was embarrassed about not being able to have children.
However well I understand that it is far from obvious as to how to answer someone when they are unfamiliar with the subject, silence is always preferable to a: “It’s all in your head, you’re thinking too much about having that baby. You’ll see how it’ll come” or” Huh! IVF is nothing, it always works.” I also can’t stand people who come out with “Bah, it’s not so serious, there are worse things.” It is true that there are worse things. I haven’t lost a limb and I haven’t been disabled, but I get nervous because most of the time this kind of thinking comes from people who complain about anything.
